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Marriage Quotes
Cartoons and Jokes
Signs of the Times
Wedding Readings, Wedding Toasts, Vows, Songs & Rituals
Anniversary Gift Ideas
Marriage is Good for Your Health!
Movie Scripts
Song Lyrics & other Good Mush
Men & Marriage and Daddies Section
Marriage Educators' Section - what it's all about AND to keep us rowing...

Marriage Quotes:

The most important thing a father can do for his children is to love their mother.
Theodore Hesburgh
***************
Research has shown a child who sees his mother mistreated is more damaged than
if the child himself is abused.
Steven Stosny, compassionpower.com
***************
Isn't it time some real financial support was made available for the growth and
development of truly healthy and happy marriages?
David Mace, 1982
***************
One dollar up front prevents the spending of many dollars down the road.
Marion Wright Edelman, Children's Defense Fund
****************
You need only do three things in this country to avoid poverty - finish high school,
marry before having a child, and marry after the age of 20. Only 8 percent of the families
who do this are poor; 79 percent of those who fail to do this are poor.
William Galston, Clinton White House
*************
You can't be value free when it comes to marriage.
Al Gore, June, 2001
*****************
The principal objective of American government at every level should be to
see that children are born into intact families and that they remain so.
Daniel Patrick Moynihan
*****************
I didn't marry you because you were perfect. I didn't even
marry you because I loved you. I married you because you
gave me a promise. That promise made up for your faults.
And the promise I gave you made up for mine. Two imperfect
people got married and it was the promise that made the marriage.
And when our children were growing up, it wasn't a house that
protected them; and it wasn't our love that protected them - it was that
promise.
Thornton Wilder, The Skin of Our Teeth
**************
The secret to having a good marriage is to understand that marriage must
be total, it must be permanent, and it must be equal.
Frank Pittman
*************
Optimism is America's birthright.... There is no social problem Americans
dare not attack. No problem, that is, except one: about marriage,
and marriage alone, we despair.
Maggie Gallagher
***************
We took our time [preparing for marriage], we looked forward to it; didn’t
want to run into something and have nothing to count on but love...”
Aunt May, Spider-Man 3, 2007
***************
Get Married
Stay Married
What a concept.
The Snipe
***************
Don't worry that children never listen to you; worry that they
are always watching you.
Robert Fulghum
****************
Live so that when your children think of fairness, caring and
integrity, they think of you.
H. Jackson Brown, Jr
****************
They say it takes a village to raise a child. That may be the case,
but the truth is that it takes a lot of solid, stable marriages to create a village.
Diane Sollee, smartmarriages.com
****************
I got gaps; you got gaps; we fill each other's gaps.
Rocky
***************
What counts in making a happy marriage is not so much how
compatible you are, but how you deal with incompatibility.
Leo Tolstoy
****************
Love is what you've been through with somebody.
James Thurber
***************
The most important marriage skill is listening to your partner in a way that
they can't possibly doubt that you love them.
Diane Sollee, smartmarriages.com
***************
When asked his secret of love, being married fifty-four years to the same
person, he said, "Ruth and I are happily incompatible."
Billy Graham
****************
Any fool can have a trophy wife.
It takes a real man to have a trophy marriage.
Diane Sollee, smartmarriages.com
***************
One advantage of marriage, it seems to me, is that when you fall
out of love with each other, it keeps you together until maybe
you fall in love again.
Judith Viorst
*****************
A successful marriage requires falling in love many times, always
with the same person.
Mignon McLaughlin
*****************
Ann Meara of the comedy team Stiller and Meara observed awhile
ago in a New York Times interview of her 30-plus year marriage,
"Was it love at first sight? It wasn't then - but it sure is now."
Ann Meara, New York Times
*****************
For most people, a life lived alone, with passing strangers or passing
lovers, is incoherent and ultimately unbearable. Someone must be
there to know what we have done for those we love.
Frank Pittman
****************
Or, put another way, and 'borrowed' from Pittman:
Why is it that people get married?
Because we need a witness to our lives.
There’s a billion people on the planet.
What does any one life really mean?
But in a marriage, you’re promising to care about everything…
The good things, the bad things, the terrible things, the mundane things,
All of it… all the time, every day.
You’re saying “Your life will not go unnoticed because I will notice it.
Your life will not go unwitnessed - because I will be your witness.”
Wife in the movie, "Shall We Dance?" 2004
****************
I knew couples who’d been married almost forever – forty, fifty, sixty years.
Seventy-two, in one case. They’d be tending each other’s illnesses, filling
in each other’s faulty memories, dealing with the money troubles or the
daughter’s suicide, or the grandson’s drug addiction. And I was beginning
to suspect that it made no difference whether they’d married the right person.
Finally, you’re just with who you’re with. You’ve signed on with her, put in a half
century with her, grown to know her as well as you know yourself or even better,
and she’s become the right person. Or the only person, might be more to the point.
I wish someone had told me that earlier. I’d have hung on then; I swear I would.”
Anne Tyler, "A Patchwork Planet"
*************
I now think of marriage like I think about living in my home state of Minnesota.
You move into marriage in the springtime of hope, but eventually arrive at the
Minnesota winter, with its cold and darkness. Many of us are tempted to give up
and move south at this point, not realizing that maybe we’ve hit a rough spot
in a marriage that’s actually above average. The problem with giving up, of course,
is that our next marriage will enter its own winter at some point. So do we just
keep moving on, or do we make our stand now – with this person, in this season?
That’s the moral, existential question we face when our marriage is in trouble.
Bill Doherty, DrBillDoherty.org
*************
What greater thing is there for two human souls than to feel that they are
joined for life - to strengthen each other in all labor, to rest on each
other in all sorrow, to minister to each other in all pain, to be one with
each other in silent, unspeakable memories at the moment of the last parting.
George Elliott (aka Mary Anne Evans), Adam Bede
****************
Commitment has kind eyes. He wears sturdy shoes.
Everything is vivid when he is around. It is wonderful to sit
and have lunch in his gardens around harvest time. You
can taste in the vegetables that the soil has been cared for.
J. Ruth Gendler
***************
Marriage, like a submarine, is only safe if you get all the way inside.
Frank Pittman
***************
In the consumer culture of marriage, commitments last as long as the other
person is meeting our needs. We still believe in commitment, because we
know that committed relationships are good for us, but powerful voices
coming from inside and outside tell us that we are suckers if we settle for
less than we think we need and deserve in our marriage. Most baby boomers
and their offspring carry in our heads the internalized voice of the consumer
culture—to encourage us to stop working so hard or to get out of a marriage
that is not meeting our current emotional needs.
Bill Doherty, DrBillDoherty.org
***************
Divorce to like an amputation. Sometimes it's necessary but it should be
avoided if at all possible because it brings about a permanent disability.
Bill Doherty, DrBillDoherty.org
***************
Divorce is not healthy for children, or other living things.
Diane Solee
*****************Money often costs too much.
Ralph Waldo Emerson
***************
Marriage, ultimately, is the practice of becoming passionate friends.
Harville Hendrix
***************
I think a man and a woman should choose each other for life, for the
simple reason that a long life with all its accidents is barely enough time for
a man and a woman to understand each other and. . . to understand - is to love."
William Butler Yeats
*****************
Ultimately the bond of all companionship, whether in marriage or in friendship,
is conversation.
Oscar Wilde
*****************
There is such pleasure in long-term marriage that I really would hate to be
my age and not have had a long-term marriage . Remember, sustaining a pleasurable,
long-term marriage takes effort, deliberateness and an intention to learn about
one another. In other words, marriage is for grown-ups.
Cokie Roberts, From This Day Forward
***************
Friends don't let friends get divorced.
Diane Sollee, smartmarriages.com
***************
The grass looks greener . . . but it's Astroturf.
From the report, "Does Divorce Make People Happy?"
****************
If the grass looks greener on the other side of the fence, it's because
they take better care of it.
Cecil Selig
*************
As for his secret to staying married: "My wife tells me that if I ever
decide to leave, she is coming with me."
Jon BonJovi
*************
I like not only to be loved, but to be told that I am loved; the realm of
silence is large enough beyond the grave.
George Eliot
*************
It's you I like,
It's not the things you wear.
It's not the way you do your hair,
But it's you I like.
The way you are right now
The way down deep inside you
Not the things that hide you
Not your diplomas...
They're just beside you.
But it's you I like,
Every part of you,
Your skin, your eyes, your feelings,
Whether old or new.
I hope that you'll remember
Even when you're feeling blue,
That it's you I like,
It's you yourself, it's you
It's you I like!
Mr Rogers
*************
Grow old along with me. The best is yet to be - the last of life for
which the first was made.
Robert Browning
*************
Dear Abby: Some months ago, you printed a letter from a reader
who was disturbed that the spark was gone from her marriage.
I asked my husband whether the spark is gone from our 18-year marriage.
His response: "A spark lasts only a second. It lights a fire. When
the flame burns down, we are left with the hottest part of the fire,
the embers, which burn the longest and keep the fire alive."
Betty in Cap May, N.J.
*************
Society should try to help more children grow up with their two
biological, married parents in a reasonably healthy, stable relationship - not
to pay homage to a Victorian notion of propriety, but because the
overwhelming consensus of research shows that's the very best way to raise children.
Theodora Ooms, Center for Law and Social Policy
*************
Even with all its problems, I will support marriage as an institution
until something better comes along.
David Blankenhorn,Institute for American Values
**************
If we were asked to design a system for making sure that children’s basic
needs were met, we would probably come up with something quite similar
to the two-parent ideal. Such a design, in theory, would not only ensure that
children had access to the time and money of two adults, it also would provide
a system of checks and balances that promoted quality parenting. The fact
that both parents have a biological connection to the child would increase the
likelihood that the parents would identify with the child and be willing to sacrifice
for that child, and it would reduce the likelihood that either parent would abuse the child.
Sara McLanahan and Gary Sandefur, Growing Up With a Single Parent (Harvard, 1994)
**************
ACF spends $46 billion per year operating 65 different social programs. If one
goes down the list of these programs… the need for each is either created or exacerbated by
the breakup of families and marriages.
Wade Horn, Assistant Secretary, Administration for Children and Families (ACF/HHS) 2004
****************
Marriage is a public good, not just a private relationship. We have a public stake
in healthy marriages and two-parent families. Our society suffers with the collapse
of the relationship of the couple who brings a child into the world.
Bill Doherty, DrBillDoherty.org
**************
When men and women fail to form stable marriages, the result is a vast
expansion of government attempts to cope with the terrible social needs that result.
There is scarcely a dollar that the state and federal government spends on social
programs that is not driven, in large part, by family fragmentation: crime, poverty,
drug abuse, teen pregnancy, school failure, mental and physical health problems.
Maggie Gallagher
**************
Each divorce is the death of a small civilization.
Pat Conroy
**************
The First Bond of Society is Marriage.
Cicero
****************
There is nothing more admirable than two people who see eye-to-eye
keeping house as man and wife, confounding their enemies, and delighting
their friends.
Homer, 9th century BC
*****************
"Remember, you married her, you didn't hire her!" - said to critical, controlling husband.
Dr Phil
*****************
The happy State of Matrimony is, undoubtedly, the surest and most lasting Foundation
of Comfort and Love . . . the Cause of all good Order in the World, and what alone
preserves it from the utmost Confusion . . .
Benjamin Franklin, Rules and Maxims for Promoting Matrimonial Happiness, 1730
*****************
Love the family! Defend and promote it as the basic cell of human
society; nurture it as the prime sanctuary of life. Give great care to the
preparation of engaged couples and be close to young married couples, so
that they will be for their children and the whole community an eloquent
testimony of God's love.
Pope John Paul II, 2001
*****************
If we are serious about renewing fatherhood, we must be serious about
renewing marriage. . . . Healthy marriages are not always possible.
But we must remember, they are incredibly important for children.
Our hearts know this and our nation must recognize this.
None of us is perfect. And so no marriage and no family is perfect.
After all, we all are human. Yet, we need fathers and families precisely
because we are human. We all live, it is said, in the shelter of one
another. And our urgent hope is one of the oldest hopes of humanity,
to turn the hearts of children toward their parents, and the hearts of
parents toward their young.
George W Bush, June 7, 2001
*****************
President George W. Bush has proposed, as part of welfare reform
reauthorization, the creation of a pilot program to promote healthy and
stable marriage. Participation in the program would be strictly voluntary,
and funding would be small-scale: $300 million per year.
This sum represents one penny to promote healthy marriage for every five
dollars the government spends subsidizing single parenthood. . . . The collapse
of marriage is the principal cause of child poverty in the United States. . .
Overall, some 80% of long-term child poverty in the United States is found among
children from broken or never-formed families.
Robert Rector, 2003 (In 2006, Congress authorized $150 million a year for marriage
education pilot programs, so, for now, a 1/2 a penny will have to do.)
*****************
The effects of the decline of marriage on society are striking. The failure of
parents to marry and stay married leads to more crime, poverty, mental health
problems, welfare dependency, failed schools, blighted neighborhoods, bloated prisons,
and higher rates of single parenting and divorce in the next generation. Nearly every
major social problem has deep roots in the failure of adults to form and sustain healthy
marriages. There are other causes of these social problems, of course, such as economic
dislocations and the decline of civic life and social responsibility in the United States,
but the disconnection of childrearing from marriage ranks high on the list of what
ails our society and our communities.
Bill Doherty, Philanthropy Roundtable, 2006
*****************
As the family goes, so go the children.
Daniel Patrick Moynihan
*****************
Marriage orients men and women toward the future, asking them not just to commit to each
other but to plan, to earn, to save, and to devote themselves to advancing their children's prospects.
Daniel Patrick Moynihan
*****************
When almost 70 percent of children in a given community are born outside of
marriage (as among African-Americans today) that's a tsunami blocking the
intergenerational accumulation of human and social capital. So far, the silence
about the issue among our leaders is deafening.
Maggie Gallagher, Nov 2007
*****************
All children have the right to live in a two-parent, married family. Talk about a
Head Start Program - those are the kids that get the real head start.
Diane Sollee, Head Start Conference, 2001
*****************
When the family collapses, it is the children that are usually damaged.
When it happens on a massive scale, the community itself is crippled.
President Lyndon B. Johnson in what he called his "greatest civil
rights speech," although he was just about the only one to see it that way.
*****************
We cannot renew our country when, within a decade, more than half of
our children will be born into families where there is no marriage.
President Bill Clinton who in 1996, signed the TANF welfare-reform
bill that included among its goals "increasing the number of children living
with their two married parents."
*****************
Eleven years as governor has not made me an expert in marriage nor has 30
years of marriage made me an expert. But 11 years as governor has made
me somewhat of an expert on what happens when families fail. If you are
married you are generally healthier, you have fewer emotional difficulties,
your children are more likely to graduate from school and less
likely to be involved in deviant behavior.
Gov Michael Leavitt, Utah
*****************
I think the gulf between liberals and conservatives on family issues is closing.
What we agree on is that there is a problem. Our children are not doing 'family'
in ways that are going to promote the well-being of our grandchildren. What's
not clear is what are we going to do about it?
Ron Mincy, 2002
****************
The increase in single-parent families—mostly due to unwed motherhood
in the past few decades—accounts for virtually all of the increase in child
poverty since 1970.
Isabelle Sawhill, congressional testimony, 1999
****************
Successful treatment of domestic violence must restore the sense of father
as protector for the well being of women, children, and society-at-large. Children
do not need fathers to fight and die for them; they need fathers to live for them,
to value them, and to value what they most value - their mothers. A father who
truly protects his children cannot possibly hurt their mother.
Steven Stosny, compassionpower.com
*****************
According to an internationally known market research company, Iconoculture,
a long time first marriage say, 25 years or more, has become a status symbol
in corporate America.
The Wall Street Journal, March, 1999
****************
Example is not the main thing in influencing others. It is the only thing.
Albert Schweitzer
****************
It is not your love that sustains the marriage, but from now on, the
marriage that sustains your love.
Dietrich Bonhoeffer, writing to a young bride and groom from his prison cell in
Nazi Germany in 1943
*****************
I am convinced that if we as a society work diligently in every other area of life and neglect
the family, it would be analogous to straightening deck chairs on the Titanic.
Stephen Covey
****************
Marriage is our last, best chance to grow up.
Joseph Barth
****************
Marriage is one long conversation, checkered with disputes.
Robert Louis Stevenson
*****************
The goal is to have a conversation in a way so that you can have another
conversation tomorrow.
Unknown
*****************
The first duty of love is to listen.
Paul Tillich
****************
Bad marriages don't cause infidelity; infidelity causes bad marriages.
Frank Pittman
****************
Infidelity flows from a belief that women have the power to make you feel like
a man if you only find a woman that thinks you're perfect; if you can only
find a woman that you haven't hurt or disappointed yet.
Frank Pittman
****************
Fidelity is the single most important element in solidly enduring marriages.
Frank Pittman
****************
I'm tempted to go to all the buildings downtown and put up a sign, "DANGER
ZONE: Men and Women at Work." Today's workplace is the most common breeding ground
for affairs. It's the proximity and collegiality - the intimacy of working together,
not bad marriages, that is the slippery slope to infidelity.
Shirley Glass, NOT Just Friends
****************
Men's affairs in particular are often the cause of troubled marriages
and not the effect. In my data, 56 percent of men who entered into affairs
said they had ''happy'' or ''very happy'' marriages, compared with 30
percent of women. For men, the strongest predictor for having an affair is
their attitudes and values about monogamy. For women, it's marital unhappiness.
Shirley Glass, NOT Just Friends
****************
Interviewer: "For so long you were the poster boy for American
bachelorhood. Now that you've settled into a marriage, do you find
monogamy difficult?" Warren Beatty: "No. I would imagine that marriage
without it is difficult."
NY Times Sunday Magazine, Oct 1, 2006
****************
Sex is a conversation carried out by other means. If you get on well out of bed,
half the problems of bed are solved.
Peter Ustinov
****************
Monogamy is, most appealingly, an energy-saving device which prevents you
wasting time and effort on hunting new prey, deceiving a partner or curing a
broken heart or bruised ego.

Preserve trust in this essential area of your life and you can reap tremendous
rewards: the 100 per cent devotion of another human being fuels your ambition,
supports you in your mission and helps you to overcome obstacles.

Monogamy has much to offer. We should trumpet its benefits far more loudly in
sex-education classes and teen magazines. The chastity pledge 'Just say no'
has failed to catch on; 'Just with you' should be an easier sell.
Cristina Odone, The Observer
****************
What we really need is a time machine so that people entering into an
affair could flash forward and see themselves, their kids, their lives at the other end
of this "tunnel of love" – at the end of the fun.
Diane Sollee, smartmarriages.com
****************
Think about it: If a man and woman each have sex with 100 people, the woman can
have one child, the man 100. The leading cause of spousal/partner homicide: jealous
men killing their wives. Across all cultures, the #1 quality in a woman for a man is faithfulness.
David Buss, The Dangerous Passion: Why Jealousy is as Necessary as Love or Sex
****************
New love is the brightest, and long love is the greatest, but revived
love is the tenderest thing known on earth.
Thomas Hardy
****************
He who finds a wife finds what is good.
Proverbs 18:22
****************
Union gives strength.
Aesop
****************
We have a group of very passionate, romantic couples.
They sort of enjoy the bickering and the arguing...
to them, it symbolizes real involvement and connection.
John Gottman, PhD, on observations at his U. of Washington "Love Lab"
************************
I talk and talk and talk, and I haven't taught people in 50 years what
my father taught by example in one week.
Mario Cuomo (on why it's important to have a father in the home.)
****************
. . . in the end, there is nothing a man can do that a woman can’t, except be a father.
Frank Pittman
****************
Chains do not hold a marriage together. It is threads, hundreds of tiny
threads, which sew people together through the years.
Simone Signoret
***************
It is necessary but insufficient to stay married for the children's sake. It is also
necessary to stay happily married for the children's sake. I'm so glad someone
noticed that marriage doesn't have to make you miserable. It is just so easy to
be happy I don't understand why it isn't more popular.
Frank Pittman
****************
Love is no assignment for cowards.
Ovid
****************
If you live to be a hundred, I want
To live to be a hundred minus one day,
So I never have to live without you.
Winnie the Pooh
****************
Motto for the bride and groom:
We are a work in progress with a lifetime contract.
Phyllis Koss
****************
I’m convinced marriage isn’t a natural state, but if you’re persistent you learn to
love the companionship and then you learn to love your companion.
Dan Harper
****************
For a marriage to have any chance, every day at least six things should go unsaid.
Unknown
****************
Write a list of ways that you have benefited from being married to your spouse. Then write a
list of your spouses positive patterns and qualities. Keep adding to the lists and reread them
frequently.
Rabbi Pliskin in Marriage
****************
A happy wedlock is a long falling in love.
Theodore Parker
****************
The divorce rate would be lower if instead of marrying for better or worse
people would marry for good,
Ruby Dee
****************
People think they have to find their soulmate to have a good marriage. You're not going
to "find" your soulmate. Anyone you meet already has soulmates. Dozens of them. Their mother.
Their father. Their lifelong friends. You get married, and after 20 years of loving,
bearing and raising children, meeting challenges - then you'll have "created" soulmate status.
Diane Sollee, smartmarriages.com
****************
It is sometimes essential for a husband and a wife to quarrel - they get to
know each other better.
Goethe
****************
The success of marriage comes not in finding the "right" person, but in the
ability of both partners to adjust to the real person they ineveitably realize they
married.
John Fischer
****************
I have no way of knowing whether or not you married the wrong person, but I
do know that many people have a lot of wrong ideas about marriage and what
it takes to make that marriage happy and successful. I'll be the first to
admit that it's possible that you did marry the wrong person. However, if
you treat the wrong person like the right person, you could well end up
having married the right person after all. On the other hand, if you marry
the right person, and treat that person wrong, you certainly will have ended
up marrying the wrong person. I also know that it is far more important to
be the right kind of person than it is to marry the right person. In short,
whether you married the right or wrong person is primarily up to you.
Zig Ziglar
****************
Many marriages would be better if the husband and the wife clearly
understood that they are on the same side.
Zig Ziglar
****************
My heart is ever at your service.
William Shakespeare
****************
For wherever you go, I will go:
And wherever you lodge, I will lodge,
Your people will be my people,
And, your God, my God.
Ruth 1:16
****************
Life has taught us that love does not consist in gazing at each
other but in looking outward together in the same direction.
Antoine De Saint-Exupery
****************
We learned how to love each other by loving together
good things wholly outside each other.
Donald Hall
****************
Marriage isn't supposed to make you happy -
it's supposed to make you married.
Frank Pittman
****************
Marriage isn't supposed to make you happy - and satisfied.
It's your job to make your marriage happy - and satisfying.
Same goes for sex. It isn't supposed to make you passionate and "hot".
It's up to you to make it passionate and "hot" - and intimate.
Diane Sollee, smartmarriages.com
****************
The development of a really good marriage is not a natural process.
It is an achievement.
David and Vera Mace
****************
Love seems the swiftest, but it is the slowest of all growths.
No man or woman really knows what perfect love is until they
have been married a quarter of a century.
Mark Twain
****************
A good marriage is the union of two good forgivers.
Ruth Bell Graham
****************
Let there be spaces in your togetherness
Kahlil Gibran
****************
The challenge is to help couples turn "I Do" into "We Can."
Scott Stanley, prepinc.com
***************
If you didn't want to be improved, you shouldn't have gotten married.
Nancy (Mrs Scott) Stanley
***************
Be on the lookout for strain in each other, and with compassion and
understanding, lend a helping hand and a mature heart. Helping each other
manage emotional strain can yield creative alternatives and build a new
foundation for heart-based communication and hope.
Doc Childre
***************
They haven't found Mr. Right. Maybe there's just a Mr. OK or Mr. Pretty Good.
Linda Waite, coauthor, The Case for Marriage
******************
And, on the case for finding Mr or Ms right, the case for pacing and a 2-year
courtship:
There was a study about children, marshmallows and delayed
gratification. Researchers found that children who can delay
gratification by saving marshmallows until a later time turn out to be
happier and better adjusted later in life. We feel better when we are
in control of our desires and, particularly, our behaviors.

The temptation is to have it NOW. One man wrote to me and said:
I have learned that everything in life is instant gratification. I
just don't know the instant it will happen. So I just do what is
in front of me to do, be patient, and wait for that instant.
Steve Goodier's Life Support Blog
******************
You can tell a lot about a person by the way he/she handles these three
things: a rainy day, lost luggage and tangled Christmas tree lights.
Maya Angelou
***************

In marriage, as in all things, the perfect can be the enemy of the good.
unknown
******************
Getting married is the boldest and most idealistic thing that
most of us will ever do.
Maggie Gallagher, coauthor, The Case for Marriage
******************
Both men and women live longer, happier, healthier and wealthier lives
when they are married. Unmarried co-habitation doesn't cut it. Cohabitation
does not bring the benefits - in physical health, wealth, and emotional wellbeing
- that marriage does. And, married people have both more and better sex
than do their unmarried counterparts.
Linda Waite, The Case for Marriage
******************
Divorce causes a decrease in wealth that is larger than just splitting a
couple’s assets in half. By the same token, married people see an increase in
wealth that is more than just adding the assets of two single people.
On the other hand, divorce can devastate your wealth. Divorce drops a
person's wealth by an average of 77%. Contrary to popular belief,
the research shows that the wealth of divorced women wasn't significantly
worse than that of divorced men, in terms of real money. If you really
want to increase your wealth, get married and stay married.
Jay Zagorsky, Ohio State, Journal of Sociology, Jan 2006
******************
Being married is like having somebody permanently in your corner,
it feels limitless, not limited.
Gloria Steinem, 2000, upon marrying for the first time at age 66
******************
The sweetest love I ever had/I left aside
Because I did not want to be/ any man's bride . . .
Control your mind my girl/ and give your heart to one
For if you love all men/ you'll surely be left with none
Eve Cassidy, Tall Trees in Georga on having chosen independence over love
*****************
Love doesn't commit suicide. We have to kill it. Though, it's true that it often simply
dies of our neglect.
Diane Sollee, smartmarriages.com
***************

One of the great illusions of our time is that love is self-sustaining.
It is not. Love must be fed and nurtured, constantly renewed. That
demands ingenuity and consideration, but first and foremost, it demands time.
David Mace
***************
It is easier thing to be a lover than a husband, for the same
reason that it is more difficult to be witty every day than now and then.
Balzac
***************
Why have a therapist get to know each of you better than you
know each other? Take a marriage education class. Learn to communicate.
Unknown
***************
Why would a couple that lives and sleeps together every night
need dates and rituals? Precisely because they live and sleep
together.
Bill Doherty, Take Back Your Marriage
**************
If a married couple with children has fifteen minutes of uninterrupted,
nonlogistical, non-problem-solving talk every day, I would put them in
the top 5% of all married couples. It's an extraordinary achievement.
Bill Doherty, Take Back Your Marriage
**************
Marriage is not just spiritual communion, it is also remembering to take out the trash.
Joyce Brothers
***************
Do NOT do unto others as you would that they should do unto you. Their tastes may
not be the same.
George Bernard Shaw
***************
The hardest-learned lesson: that people have only
their kind of love to give, not our kind.
Mignon McLauglin
***************
Real giving is when we give to our spouses what's important to them,
whether we understand it, like it, agree with it, or not.
Michele Weiner-Davis, Divorce Busting
**************
I often wonder when the wedding couple will realize just how much
hard work they've taken on by consecrating that quirky emotion
called love into the formal tie of marriage.
Lois Smith Brady, NY Times "Vows" columnist
***************
What else is love but understanding and rejoicing in
the fact that another person lives, acts, and experiences otherwise
than we do?
Friedrich Nietzsche
***************
Marriage tips:
Divorces run in families. If you didn't know marriages when you were growing up, find people who are married and find out how they do it.

Common courtesy plays a big role in happy marriages. People who are permanently married are polite to one another. They don't want to hurt one another's feelings, and they don't try to make the other one feel humiliated. People who are married for life are extremely kind to one another.

Arguments are a natural part of any relationship, but cruelty is not. Above all, happily married partners see each other as allies, not as adversaries.

You can't be right and married at the same time. If you're trying to be right and prove your partner wrong, you've stepped outside the marriage.

To go without sex is to endanger the relationship. It's very easy to build up an incest taboo in a marriage. If you go without sex, your instincts recognize this person as part of the family but cease to recognize the person as a sex partner. The response can kick in surprisingly quickly - in as little as six weeks. People make a terrible mistake in being angry with their marriage partner and cutting them off sexually as a way of arousing great passion. It used to work in the ninth grade. But it doesn't work in the ninth decade.

Caressing and contact is always a good thing. The great thing about sex at this age is it ceases to be great, and it becomes funny. It feels good, but you never know what's going to work and what's not. Which brings up another trait that long-lasting marriage partners often share: a sense of humor.

Humor is vital, but it is vital to be happy, too. A happy marriage is a marriage between two happy people.

You're not going to be in love all the time, but if you want to recapture that magic from when you were in love, be loving. Being loving to your partner makes you feel so good about yourself, it doesn't matter if you're in love or not. The marriage is making you feel good if you are loving in it.

There's no point battling age in yourself or in your partner. No one has ever won.

Always keep your pants zipped in public.
Frank Pittman, as quoted in the Marin Independent, Sept 23, 2007
*******************
Marriage is like a gas stove. Even if the burners aren't on all the time, you've
always got to keep the pilot light lit.
Brian, a husband giving advice on Oprah.com
**********************
Which is more romantic? “Beloved, I know the divorce rate for
first-time marriages is 50% and much higher for remarriages,
but I love you so much I want to marry you anyway. Our love is
SO special, I’m sure we’ll make it last.” Or, “Beloved, I want to
marry you and I love you so much that I want to learn everything
the experts know about creating and maintaining a smart, successful
marriage – to make SURE we can make it last.”
Diane Sollee, smartmarriages.com
***************
A soulmate marriage does not at all mean that you have found someone
you match up with on all the cards – on all the issues, on everything. That
would be the most deadly dull thing to even imagine. Instead, it means you’re
with someone that wants to take care of your soul – they want to make sure
your soul continues to grow, they don’t ever want to blow out that little light
inside you. And you feel the same way about them.
Diane Sollee, NPR, The Real Life Survival Guide, April 2008
***************
They do not love who do not show their love.
William Shakespeare
***************
Then there was the guy who loved his wife so much, he almost told her.
Unknown
****************
Cannot be parted nor swept away
From one another once you are Agreed
That life is only life Forevermore
Together wing to wing and oar to oar.
Robert Frost
***************
As much as I would miss my wife if she were to die, I would miss what we are
together even more. Our "we-ness" our "us-ness."
Carl Whitaker, family therapy pioneer
*****************
When there are kids involved, there's no such thing as divorce.
Carl Whitaker
*****************
Once it's established that we are a team, I can demand of you and expect you to
demand of me. Life without pain is an addiction and the fantasy of perpetual happiness
is like the "delusion of fusion."
Carl Whitaker
****************
There is a proverb. "As you have made your bed, so you must lie in
it, " which is simply a lie. If I have made my bed uncomfortable, please God, I
will make it again.
G.K. Chesterson ("after learning some marriage skills" - we assume he meant to add...)
**************
When love and skill work together expect a masterpiece.
John Ruskin
****************
The role of the female in every species is to pick the right mate. The wrong
males are supposed to be barred from mating and procreating. Nature didn't
intend human females or females from any other species to "fix" deficient
mates; we're just supposed to reject them so they don't pass on their bad
genes.
Elizabeth, thuoghtsopinionsrants Blog
****************
When it comes to marriage, we've been operating with good intentions,
but terrible information. All that's about to change: the research shows
anyone can learn how to have a Smart Marriage®. Welcome the new era: the
Marriage Renaissance.
Diane Sollee, smartmarriages.com
****************
My grandmother had three sayings on her kitchen wall:
"It could be worse."
"It's a great life - if you don't weaken."
"We get too soon oldt, and too late schmardt."
I think this last one is where I got the idea for "Smart" Marriages®. The hope is to
help our youth get schmardt without having to learn the hard way - through
their own terrible marriage mistakes.
Diane Sollee, smartmarriages.com
****************
So many people have the will to have a strong marriage but don't have the skill.
Kathy Beirne, Portland Coalition for Marriage Education
****************
We must remember that we're not teaching skills to equip me to get what I want
and you to get what you want. Instead we must focus on teaching skills that will equip
us to keep our relationship, our "us-ness", and our marriage alive.
Terry Hargrave, The Essential Humility of Marriage
****************
You did the best that you knew how. Now that you know better,
you'll do better.
Maya Angelou
***************
For you see, each day I love you more.
Today more than yesterday and less than tomorrow.
Rosemonde Gerard
****************
We loved with a love that was more than love.
Edgar Allan Poe
****************
Love is a feeling, Marriage is a contract, and a Relationship is work.
Lori Gordon, pairs.com
***************
All those "and they lived happily ever after" fairy tale endings need to be
changed to "and they began the very hard work of making their marriages happy."
Linda Miles, The New Marriage
**************
Stephen Covey was asked after a speech about how to fogive someone who
has committed adultery. He said the question made him think of the old prayer,
"Oh Lord, let me forgive those who sin differently than I do."
Stephen Covey, author of 7 Habits of Highly Effective People
**************
If mamma ain't happy, ain't nobody happy.
Unknown
**************
A happy wife equals a happy life.
Unknown
**************
What do we live for, if it is not to make life less difficult for each other?
George Eliot
*************
To get divorced because love has died, is like selling your car
because it's run out of gas.
Diane Sollee, smartmarriages.com
***************
Be presidents of each other's fan clubs.
Tony Heath
*************
A good marriage is a contest of generosity.
Diane Sawyer
*************
My wife, the star I steer by.
David McCullough
*************
In every marriage more than a week old, there are grounds for divorce.
The trick is to find, and continue to find, the grounds for marriage.
Robert Anderson
*************
Some pray to marry the man they love,
My prayer will somewhat vary;
I humbly pray to Heaven above
That I love the man I marry.
Rose Pastor Stokes (1879–1933), U.S. social worker. My Prayer.
*************
Do not pray to marry the one that you love,
but to love the one that you marry.
Spencer Kimball
*************
Choose your love, then love your choice.
Unknown
*************
Happy marriages begin when we marry the ones we love, and they
blossom when we love the ones we marry.
Tom Mullen
*************
If you made a list of reasons why any couple got married, and
another list of the reasons for their divorce, you'd have a lot of overlap.
Mignon McLauglin
***************
If you want peace, work for justice. That's true for marriage, or for any other
human endeavor.
Unknown
*************
Love is a four-letter word spelled T-I-M-E.
Unknown
*************
People change and forget to tell each other.
Lillian Hellman
*************
Marriage is a career which brings about more benefits than many others.
Simone de Beauvoir
*************
As a country, we need to find a way to fund marriage-rescue help with 'insurance'
or something. Marriage Insurance - what a concept! Marriage license fees could
triple and they might cover such a thing! It could pay for the help couples need
when their marriage is ailing or has crashed - pay for a Marriage Hospital.
Judy Parejko, DivorceResourceCenter.com
*************
Advocates of easy divorce say: How cruel it is to keep people tied
together when they are not happy! It's true that all restraints are in
a sense cruel, but without the sturdy fence, the bawling cattle in the
pasture would be destroying themselves in the green corn and damp
alfalfa. And so it is with the restraints on divorce.
Fred Hanson, Uniform Marriage and Divorce Act, commissioner expressing
disapproval of changing from a 'fault-based' to a 'no-fault' system of divorce, 1970
*************
Saying divorce is normal is like saying polio is normal, and let's focus all our resources
on building a better iron lung and not spend money to develop a vaccine.
Diane Sollee - USA Today, July 29, 2002
*************
Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through
every circumstance.
I Corinthians 13:7
*************
No matter how free divorce, how frequently marriages break up, in most societies there
is the assumption of permanent mating, of the idea that the marriage should last as
long as both live. . . . No known society has ever invented a form of marriage strong
enough to stick that did not contain the ’till death us do part’ assumption.
Margaret Mead
*************
Being in a long marriage is a little bit like that nice cup of coffee every morning -
I might have it every day, but I still enjoy it.
Stephen Gaines, documentary filmmaker

*************
It is dangerous for women to romanticize the typical alternatives to marriage. Most unmarried
parents do not live together and most nonresident fathers pay little child support. Women are
providing a much higher proportion of the financial support of children than previously. Thus,
in the new low-marriage regime, compared to the old regime, women are still providing most
of the labor inputs to children and are providing much more of the financial support for children.
Paul England, Marriage, the Costs of Children and Gender Inequality
*************
Marriage is the foundation of the family and the family is the foundation of society: if we
strengthen marriage, we strengthen the family, we strengthen the children and we
strengthen the community. If your goal is to help improve the world, marriage is as good
a place as any to start.
Diane Sollee, Grand Rapids Family Summit, 1998
***************
Marriage, families, all relationships are more a process of learning
the dance rather than finding the right dancer.
Paul Pearsall
*************
Coming together is the beginning.
Keeping together is progress.
Working together is success.
Henry Ford
*************
Sheila and I just celebrated our thirtieth wedding anniversary.
Somebody asked her, what was our secret? She answered, “On my wedding
day, I decided to make a list of ten of Tim’s faults which, for the
sake of our marriage, I would always overlook. I figured I could live
with at least ten!” When she was asked which faults she had listed, Shelia replied, “I
never did get around to listing them. Instead, every time he does
something that makes me mad, I simply say to myself, ‘Lucky for him,
it’s one of the ten!’”
Tim Hudson, Chicken Soup for the Romantic Soul, 2002
*************
Investment Banker's Advice (click to read, too long to print here, but well worth the click)
*************
One of the Secrets of a Great Marriage: The Best Gift I Ever Received
by Bob Burg - (click to read, too long to print here, but worth the click)
****************
ACCEPT - the secret of a good marriage.
Attraction
Communication
Commitment
Enjoyment
Purpose
Trust
Unknown
****************
The Beauty of Love:
The question is asked, "Is there anything more
beautiful in life than a young couple clasping hands
and pure hearts in the path of marriage? Can there be
anything more beautiful than young love?"
And the answer is given. "Yes, there is a more
beautiful thing. It is the spectacle of an old man and an
old woman finishing their journey together on that path.
Their hands are gnarled, but still clasped; their faces are
seamed, but still radiant; their hearts are physically
bowed and tired, but still strong with love and devotion for
one another. Yes, there is a more beautiful thing than
young love. Old love."
Unknown
****************
There is no greater happiness for a man than approaching a
door at the end of a day knowing someone on the other side
of that door is waiting for the sound of his footsteps.
Ronald Reagan
****************
When a guy is happily married, no matter what happens at work,
no matter what happens [during] the rest of the day, there's a shelter
when you get home. There's a knowledge, knowing that you can
hug somebody without them throwing you downstairs and saying,
'Get your hands off me.'"
Danny Perosa, NPR "Story Corps" Morning Edition
Listen: http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=3844820
****************
Being married is like having a color television set. You never want
to go back to black and white.
Danny Perosa, NPR "Story Corps" Morning Edition
Listen: http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=3844820
****************
In one of his famous Lake Woebegon monologues, humorist Garrison
Keillor described a long married couple. Every night the husband
consumed a generous portion of the same menu offering. (Breaded
veal cutlets as I recall). Every night over the course of four
decades, the husband devoured the cutlets, wiped his face with a
napkin, pushed his chair away from the table and looked his wife in
the eye. He smiled at her and spoke in a tender voice, "That's the
best you've ever done." It may sound monotonous to you, but to her
his words of appreciation sounded like sweet music.
Norm Bales, All About Families
*************
If that thy bent of love be honourable / Thy purpose marriage, send me word
tomorrow.
William Shakespeare, Romeo and Juliet, Act II, scene II
*************
To keep your marriage brimming, with love in the
wedding cup, whenever you're wrong, admit it;
whenever you're right, shut up.
Ogden Nash
*************
The man who puts into the marriage only half
of what he owns will get that out.
Ronald Reagan
*************
Love doesn't sit there like a stone, it has to be made, like bread;
re-made everyday, made new.
Unknown
*************
A good marriage at age 50 predicted positive aging at 80. But,
surprisingly, low cholesterol levels did not.
George Valliant, MD, Harvard Medical School
*************
Find the good -- and praise it.
Alex Haley
*************
When marrying, ask yourself this question: Do you
believe that you will be able to converse well with
this person into your old age? Everything else in
marriage is transitory.
Friedrich Nietzsche
*************
There is no more lovely, friendly and charming relationship, communion or
company than a good marriage.
Martin Luther
*************
Our greatest weakness lies in giving up. The most certain way to succeed
is always to try just one more time.
Thomas Edison
*************
You win or the relationship wins.
Terry Hargrave, The Essential Humility of Marriage
****************
Lust fades, so you'd better be with someone who can stand you.
The Story of Us
*********************
People are often enamored with my Super Bowl ring. But it's my wedding ring
that I'm most proud of. And having a good marriage takes even more work
than winning a Super Bowl.
Trent Dilfer, Seattle Seahawks quarterback
*************
The Marriage Edge: As my daughter Elizabeth's wedding approaches, a thought has
come over me: their entire convoy of family and friends would not be
trekking from all over the country to Minnesota for the celebration if they
were simply moving in together. The launching of a marriage is light years
different than launching a cohabitation.
Bill Doherty, DrBillDoherty.org
****************
Let the wife make her husband glad to come home and let him make her sorry to see him leave.
Martin Luther
*************
Marriage is our society's most pro-child institution. If you want kids to do well,
then you want marriage to do well.
David Blankenhorn
*************
How did I decide to get involved with Smart Marriages? We started
asking young couples at our clinic, "Who's marriage would
you like yours to be like?" They'd answer, "We don't know any."
Jennifer Baker
*************
Stepparents, remember this: Your partner will react to an act of kindness directed toward
their child as if you had extended two acts of kindness directly towards them (your partner). The
same applies for an unkind act, but your partner is likely to react as if you had acted unkindly
towards them (your partner) five times.
Stepfamily Foundation of Alberta, research study 2006
*************
And when the bough breaks the cradle will fall,
and down will come baby,
cradle and all.......
*************
I saw Mommy kissing Santa Claus
underneath the Mistletoe last night....
*************
The Time is Now
If you are ever going to love me,
Love me now, while I can know
The sweet and tender feelings
Which from true affection flow.
Love me now
While I am living.
Do not wait until I'm gone
And then have it chiseled in marble,
Sweet words on ice-cold stone.
If you have tender thoughts of me,
Please tell me now.
Unknown
****************
Had we but world enough, and time,
This coyness, lady, were no crime.
We would sit down and think which way
To walk, and pass our long love's day;. . .
. . . An hundred years should go to praise
Thine eyes, and on thy forehead gaze;
Two hundred to adore each breast,
But thirty thousand to the rest;
An age at least to every part,
And the last age should show your heart.
For, lady, you deserve this state,
Nor would I love at lower rate. . . .
But at my back I always hear
Time's wingèd chariot hurrying near;
And yonder all before us lie
Deserts of vast eternity.
. . . . The grave's a fine and private place,
But none I think do there embrace.
. . . Now let us sport us while we may;
And now, like am'rous birds of prey,
. . . Let us roll all our strength, and all
Our sweetness, up into one ball;
And tear our pleasures with rough strife
Thorough the iron gates of life.
Thus, though we cannot make our sun
Stand still, yet we will make him run.
Clips from "To His Coy Mistress," Andrew Marvell
*************
And if not now, when?
The Talmud
*************
A bell is no bell 'til you ring it,
A song is no song 'til you sing it,
And love in your heart
Wasn’t put there to stay -
Love isn’t love
'Til you give it away.
The Sound of Music
*****************
Don't talk of stars burning above, If you're in love,
show me!
My Fair Lady
*****************
Let it be a dance we do.
May I have this dance with you?
Through the good times
And the bad times, too.
Let it be a dance.

Learn to follow, learn to lead,
Feel the rhythm, fill the need.
To reap the harvest, plant the seed.
And let it be a dance.

Morning star comes out at night,
Without the dark there is no light.
If nothing's wrong, then nothing's right.
Let it be a dance.
Ric Masten, in Looking Out/Looking In, Proctor & Towne
*****************
And You Wonder *Why* It Didn't Last
She married him because he was such a "strong man"
She divorced him because he was such a "dominating male."

He married her because she was so "fragile and cute."
He divorced her because she was so "weak and helpless."

She married him because "he is a good provider."
She divorced him because "all he thinks about is business."

He married her because "she reminds me of my mother."
He divorced her because "she's getting more like her mother every day."

She married him because he was "happy and romantic."
She divorced him because he was "shiftless and fun-loving."

He married her because she was "steady and sensible."
He divorced her because she was "boring and dull."

She married him because he was "the life of the party."
She divorced him because "he's a party boy."
Unknown
****************
The Policy of Joint Agreement: Never do anything without an enthusiastic agreement between you and your spouse.
This policy helps men take their wives' feelings into account whenever they make a decision - avoid thoughtless habits,
learn to meet emotional needs with mutual enjoyment and resolve conflicts. This creates marital compatibility and
emotional bonding. Whenever he follows it, he learns to think about his wife's reaction to everything he does. Some
argue that just an agreement would be a big help, why insist on enthusiastic agreement? It's because couples need to
avoid agreements that are coerced or self-sacrificing. Couples need to learn how to come to agreements that take
both of their interests into account at once. I have encouraged couples to continue to negotiate until they arrive
at an enthusiastic agreement because they're the ones that stand the test of time. Joint agreement means that both
must be enthusiastic together, and no one risks losing their identity or subjecting themselves to slavery or control
when they themselves must be enthusiastic about each decision. The goal is to become united in purpose and spirit, not to
overpower or control each other. Think of it as creating a mutually enjoyable lifestyle.
Willard Harley, MarriageBuilders.com
*****************
On Valentine's Day

An old man got on a bus one February 14th, carrying a dozen
roses. He sat beside a young man. The young man looked at
the roses and said, "Somebody's going to get a beautiful
Valentine's Day gift."

"Yes," said the old man.

A few minutes went by and the old man noticed that his young
companion was staring at the roses. "Do you have a
girlfriend?" the old man asked.

"I do," said the young man. "I'm going to see her right
now, and I'm going to give her this Valentine's Day card."

They rode in silence for another 10 minutes, and then the
old man got up to get off the bus. As he stepped out into
the aisle, he suddenly placed the roses on the young man's
lap and said, "I think my wife would want you to have these.
I'll tell her that I gave them to you."

He left the bus quickly. As the bus pulled away, the young
man turned to see the old man enter the gates of a cemetery.
Unknown
****************
I'm very neat. My wife is messy - never picks anything up.
Doesn't even notice the mess - it's below her radar. I cured
myself from my annoyance with her by imagining that she had died
and then asking myself, "If you could bring her back to life but she'd
still be messy, leave clutter all over the house - 5 pairs of shoes in the
living room, would you still want her back?" "Yes, for sure!"
And, it cured me. Whenever I get annoyed with her mess, I rerun the script.
Sam Bradley, "Marriage Makeover" workshop Smart Marriages Conference, Reno
****************
Writers say that love is concerned only with young people, and the excitement and
glamour of romance end at the altar. How blind they are. The best romance
is inside marriage; the finest love stories come after the wedding, not before.
Irving Stone

****************
When two people are under the influence of the most violent, most
insane, most delusive, and most transient of passions, they are required
to swear that they will remain in that excited, abnormal and exhausting
condition continuously until death do them part.
George Bernard Shaw
****************
A grandfather talking at his granddaughter’s
wedding about the experience of losing a spouse:
People imagine that losing a loved one works kind of like missing cigarettes.
The first day is really hard and the next day is less hard and so forth, easier and
easier the longer you go on. But instead it’s like missing water. Every day, you notice
the person’s absence more.
Anne Tyler, Back When We Were Grownups
****************
The greatest weakness of most humans is their hesitancy to tell others how
much they love them while they're still alive.
Olando Battista
****************
A psychiatrist asks a lot of expensive questions your wife asks for nothing.
Joey Adams
****************

The RealAge web site recommends finding a "reminder buddy" to improve your health, one
with whom to exercise, eat right, etc. "Reminder Buddy" - such a nice term for the role of a spouse,
sounds so much better than "nagging".
Diane Sollee, smartmarriages.com
****************
The sad truth, Janine had to admit as she drove over to the Empire Grill,
was that she'd gone and divorced a man she could talk to and married
one she couldn't.
Richard Russo, Empire Falls
****************
Eight-Cow Wife:
Johnny Lingo lived in the South Pacific. The islanders all spoke highly
of this man, but when it came time for him to find a wife the people shook
their heads in disbelief. In order to obtain a wife you paid for her by giving
her father cows. Four to six cows was considered a high price. But the woman
Johnny Lingo chose was plain, skinny and walked with her shoulders hunched
and her head down. She was very hesitant and shy. What surprised everyone
was Johnny's offer -- he gave eight cows for her! Everyone chuckled about it,
since they believed his father-in-law put one over on him.

Several months after the wedding, a visitor from the U.S. came to
the islands to trade and heard the story about Johnny Lingo and his
eight-cow wife. Upon meeting Johnny and his wife the visitor was totally
taken back, since this wasn't a shy, plain and hesitant woman but one who
was beautiful, poised and confident. The visitor asked about the
transformation, and Johnny Lingo's response was very simple. "I wanted an
eight-cow woman, and when I paid that for her and treated her in that
fashion, she began to believe that she was an eight-cow woman. She
discovered she was worth more than any other woman in the islands. And
what matters most is what a woman thinks about herself."
Reader's Digest
****************
Spoil your spouse.....not your children.
Unknown
****************
William Morris wrote a poem called 'Love is Enough' and someone is said to
have reviewed it briefly with the words 'It isn't.' . . . , To say this is not to belittle
the natural loves but to indicate where their real glory lies. It is no disparagement
to a garden to say that it will not fence and weed itself, nor prune its own fruit
trees, nor roll and cut its own lawns. A garden is a good thing but that is not the
sort of goodness it has. It will remain a garden, as distinct from a wilderness, only if
someone does all these things to it."
C.S. Lewis, The Four Loves
****************
"What I've Learned" is about friendship, but clearly
applies as well to marriage:

I've learned -
that there are people who love you dearly,
but just don't know how to show it.

I've learned -
that just because someone
doesn't love you the way you want
them to, doesn't mean they don't love
you all they can.

I've learned -
that we don't have to change friends
if we understand that friends change.

I've learned -
that two people can look
at the exact same thing
and see something totally different

I've learned -
that just because two people argue,
it doesn't mean they don't love each other.
And just because they don't argue,
it doesn't mean they do.
Unknown
****************
Beloved, let us love so well,
Our work shall still be better for our love,
And still our love be sweeter for our work,
And both commended for the sake of each,
By all true workers and true lovers born.
Elizabeth Barrett Browning
****************
How Do I Love Thee?
Let me count the ways.
I love thee to the depth and breadth and height
My soul can reach, when feeling out of sight
For the ends of Being and ideal Grace.

I love thee to the level of everyday's
Most quiet need, by sun and candlelight.
I love thee freely, as men strive for Right:
I love thee purely, as they turn from Praise.
Elizabeth Barrett Browning
*****************
Daddies do matter:
Last night (1/20/99) 60 Minutes featured a show about elephants. <>

Several decades ago there was a problem with overpopulation
on an African game preserve - too many elephants. Limited by the technology
available at the time, the solution arrived at was to move the babies to new preserves.
Everyone watched, gravely concerned, but the babies thrived.

However, unintended consequences emerged. At the new locations, a decade
or so after the transfer, someone was killing off rhinoceros which are an endangered species.
It turned out the killers were young male elephants. At first the game wardens
couldn't believe it, this was uncharacteristic behavior never before seen in elephants.

They deduced that the young males had grown up without fathers - without
male role models. New technology had made it possible to transport into these
locations some large mature bull elephants. There was concern that it would be too late, that
the adolescent males had to have grown up with their elders, that
bringing "daddies" in now would do no good. But they tried it anyway.

It worked like a charm. The mature bulls arrived and set things
straight. The young males immediately stopped their precocious, rampant sexuality,
killing and violence.

The conclusion drawn on 60 Minutes was that we had no idea that the social system of
the elephants was so complex, interconnected, and so elegant.
And so it goes. Daddies do matter, even in elephants.
Diane Sollee, smartmarriages.com
- - - - - - - -
And, apparently it works both ways:
Our experience with nearly 4,000 court-ordered clients suggests that when fathers are
more involved in the lives of their children, they are unlikely to hurt any woman. While
developing our intervention for domestic violence, we took a group of young men (mean age 22),
all of whom had at least two children from previous relationships and who were court-ordered
for abuse of their current partners. As is too often the case with young fathers, none of these
guys had a relationship with his children. We gave them a brief course called Compassionate
Parenting which raised their awareness of the emotional worlds of their children, particularly
their need to have fathers who cared about them and looked out for them. Without direct
intervention for domestic violence, these young men got more involved in the lives of their
children and completely stopped abuse of their current partners. (The normal recidivism rate
for unmarried men of this age group was over 60 percent, after domestic violence intervention.)
Compassionate Parenting is now a crucial part of our domestic violence programs.
Steven Stosny, compassionpower.com
****************
Crime goes up when the sense of community goes down. People feel disconnected.
Steven Stosny, compassionpower.com
****************
It is instructive that 87 percent of those incarcerated in American prisons either
don't know who their father is or have not had any contact with their fathers in years.
Herbert London, Hudson Institute
****************
Involved, responsible and committed fathering, like real estate, is about location,
location, location. A healthy marriage to the mother of one's children has a way
of making sure a father is in the location where his kids desperately need him most - in their home.
Roland Warren, National Fatherhood Initiative fatherhood.org
*****************
Healthy marriages are the best way to protect children from abuse.
Joe Bennett, Mississippi YMCA
****************
Playing is Serious Business
Hall of Fame baseball player Willie Mays was born in a grimy steel-mill town near Birmingham. Even before he was old enough to walk, his father, Willie Sr., rolled a baseball back and forth with him. When dad stopped, Willie cried. His father had hooked him on baseball, and we’ve been hooked on the The Say Hey Kid and The Catch ever since.
Dads, the best way to raise champion children is to take the time to play with them. Researchers have found a strong correlation between fathers and children having fun together and their overall well-being. Play is serious business. www.allprodad.com
****************
Commenting on paternity establishment programs: What these millions of children
want and need is not a name on a form or a promise that the sheriff will arrest these
guys if they don't pay child support. What they want and need is in-the-home,
love-the-mother fathers,. . .
David Blankenhorn, Family Scholars BLOG, www.marriagemovement.org
**************
Ever wonder why people are so determined to reach for white picket fences,
supposed normalcy, a nuclear family? Well, try growing up without one.
Chuck Eddy, The Village Voice, 1/03
*************
Bachelor's Ill Luck
It seems so dreadful to stay a bachelor, to become an old man struggling
to keep one's dignity while begging for an invitation whenever one wants
to spend an evening in company, to lie ill gazing for weeks into an empty
room from the corner where one's bed is, always having to say good night
at the front door, never to run up a stairway beside one's wife, to have only
side doors in one's room leading into other people's living rooms, having to
carry one's supper home in one's hand, having to admire other people's
children and not even being allowed to go on saying: "I have none myself,"
modeling oneself in appearance and behavior on one or two bachelors
remembered from one's youth.

That's how it will be, except that in reality, both today and later, one will
stand there with a palpable body and a real head, a real forehead, that is,
for smiting on with one's hand.
Franz Kafka
*************
On Marriage
You were born together, and together you shall be forevermore.
You shall be together when the white wings of death scatter your days.
Ay, you shall be together even in the silent memory of God.
But let there be spaces in your togetherness,
And let the winds of the heavens dance between you.

Love one another, but make not a bond of love:
Let it rather be a moving sea between the shores of your souls.
Fill each other's cup but drink not from one cup.
Give one another of your bread but eat not from the same loaf
Sing and dance together and be joyous, but let each one of you be alone,
Even as the strings of a lute are alone though they quiver with the same music.

Give your hearts, but not into each other's keeping.
For only the hand of Life can contain your hearts.
And stand together yet not too near together:
For the pillars of the temple stand apart,
And the oak tree and the cypress grow not in each other's shadow.
Kahlil Gibran
*****************
The institution of marriage itself strikes me as being in no trouble at all.
How manythings do 95% of people do? They should have a Defense of Voting Act.
Robert Lang, demographer at Virginia Tech, USA Today, 2/26/2004

*************
The happiest times in my life were when my relationships were going well --
when I was in love with someone, and someone was loving me. But in my whole
life, I haven't met the person I can sustain a relationship with yet. So I'm
discontented about that. I'm angry with myself. I have regrets. You don't get
hugged by the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame, and you don't have children with
the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame. I want what everybody else wants: to love and
to be loved, and to have a family.
Billy Joel, The New York Times Magazine 9/02
*************
What does love mean?

"When my grandmother got arthritis, she couldn't bend over and paint her
toenails anymore. So my grandfather does it for her all the time, even when
his hands got arthritis too. That's love." Rebecca - age 8

"Love is when you go out to eat and give somebody most of your French fries
without making them give you any of theirs." Chrissy - age 6

"Love is what makes you smile when you're tired." Terri - age 4

"Love is when my mommy makes coffee for my daddy and she takes a sip before
giving it to him, to make sure the taste is OK." Danny - age 7

"Love is when you tell a guy you like his shirt, then he wears it everyday."
Noelle - age 7

"Love is when mommy gives daddy the best piece of chicken." Elaine - age 5

"Love is when your puppy licks your face even after you left him alone all
day." Mary Ann - age 4
Unknown
****************
I love "folded" potato chips. When John and I eat chips together, he never says
a word. He just smiles and hands the folded chips from his bag to me as he comes
to them. Each one of those potato chips is a love note to me.
Linda Gilden, South Carolina
*************
Because my husband understand that my monthly cycle affects me both
emotionally and physically, he now plans for it. Using his Daytimer, he marks off
in seven-day increments the dates of different stages in my cycle. If we need to
plan a vacation or discuss an important issue, he will do so during the first week
when I'm the most positive and have the most energy. On the other hand, he'll back
off from discussing hot topics or scheduling activities during the third week,
when I tend to be emotionally and physically drained. Of course my body
doesn't operate like clockwork on a perfect 28 day schedule. But his
sensitivity to my needs not only minimizes stress between us, but shows me how much
he loves me.
Teryl Hegel, Illinois
*************
Presidential Marriage Trivia:

George Herbert Walker Bush has been married longer than any other president.

"I married the first man I ever kissed. When I tell this to my children they just about throw up."
- Former First Lady Barbara Bush

Harry Truman first met his future wife, Bess, at Sunday School when he was six years old.
Love Magazine www.LOVEmagazine.com
****************
Some Things We Keep
I grew up in the forties and fifties with practical parents - a Mother who washed
aluminum foil after she cooked in it, then reused it. A Father who was happier
getting old shoes fixed than buying new ones. Their marriage was good,
their dreams focused. I can see them now, Dad in trousers, tee shirt and a hat
and Mom in a house dress, lawn mower in one hand, dishtowel in the other. It
was the time for fixing things - a curtain rod, the kitchen radio, screen door, the
oven door, the hem in a dress. Things we keep. It was a way of life, and sometimes
it made me crazy. All that re-fixing, reheating, renewing, I wanted just once to be
wasteful. Waste meant affluence. Throwing things away meant there'd always be
more. But then my Mother died, and on that clear summer's night, in the warmth
of the hospital room, I was struck with the pain of learning that sometimes there
isn't any 'more'. Sometimes, what we care about most gets all used up and goes
away.....never to return. So, while we have it, it's best we love it and care for it.....
and fix it when it's broken.....and heal it when it's sick. This is true for old cars.....
and children with bad report cards.....and dogs with bad hips.....and aging parents
.....and grandparents...and marriage. We keep them because they are worth it,
because we are worth it. Some things we keep.
Unknown
****************
Moonlight and roses are bound to fade for every lover and every maid
but the bond that holds in any weather is learning how to laugh .
Unknown
****************
Ask yourself, "What difference will this thing we're fighting about make in ten years?
In one year? In a month?"
Unknown
****************
What makes a relationship work is having things in common.
What makes a relationship passionate are our differences.
Unknown
****************
She said there are three words that save a marriage, and they're not, 'I love
you.' They're, 'Maybe you're right.' And Marcus, her husband said, 'Maybe,
gives you some wiggle room there'.
Long As We Both Shall Live a book of photos and wisdom from long-married couples by Robert Fass
****************
More marriages might survive if the partners realized that
sometimes the better comes after the worse.
Doug Larson
*****************
The three stages of love and marriage:
You don't know em, but you love em.
You know em, and don't love em.
You know em and you love em.
Unknown
****************
You don't marry one person; you marry three:
the person you think they are,
the person they are, and
the person they are going to become
as a result of being married to you.
Richard Needham
*****************
Laughter is the shortest distance between two people.
Victor Borge
****************
Anyone can be passionate, but it takes real lovers to be silly.
Rose Franken
****************
Sexiness wears thin after a while, and beauty fades. But to
be married to a man who makes you laugh every day, ah,
now that's a real treat.
Joanne Woodward
***************
Me Tarzan, you Jane.
Edgar Rice Burroughs, Tarzan of the Apes
****************
More than yesterday, less than tomorrow.
Unknown
****************
The American poet Anne Bradstreet immigrated with her husband to America
in 1630. Her husband was a magistrate for the Massachusetts colony,
and spent long periods away from home. Anne missed him terribly, and
wrote many love poems to him while he was away, including "To My Dear
and Loving Husband" (1678). She wrote:
"If ever two were one then surely we.
If ever man were loved by wife, then thee.
If ever wife were happy in a man,
Compare with me, ye women, if you can.
I prize thy love more than whole mines of gold
Or all the riches that the East doth hold
My love is such that rivers cannot quench
Nor ought but love from thee, give recompense"
Anne Bradstreet
****************
Diane,
A woman in my online group was being very negative about her husband and the
group leader told her to try to think of some positives, even if it were
difficult. This is what she came up with. I thought it was touching. I
just wanted you to see it.
- - - - - - - - -
H was very helpful in the kitchen. He usually got home from work around 3
PM, and he usually made dinner for the family. I don't get home until around
5 PM. He did all the yard work, took care of all car maintenance, always
called me if he was going to be late, instilled complete trust, did the
lion's share of bill paying because I hate to write due to carpal tunnel
syndrome, balanced the checkbook, fixed the toilet when it would break
(regularly), painted the outside of the house. <>

He usually remembered to put the toilet seat and lid down. He vacuumed
occasionally. He spent lots of time with the kids. He bought advent
calendars with chocolate behind each day for the kids every Christmas
season. He laughed and joked a lot, and didn't like to be serious. He told
me when I looked good. He learned to enjoy horses because our girls and I
loved to ride.

He was willing to try new dishes I prepared. He loved my lasagna. He went to
church with the family every Sunday, even though he had trouble staying
awake during preaching. Although he doesn't like classical music, he went to
almost every concert our daughters played in when they were in youth
symphony (4 years for one and 6 years for the other).

He held my hand through 3 labors and deliveries, and whispered in my ear to
encourage me. He lovingly dressed an open wound for me after surgery for a
breast abscess after the birth of our 3rd. Four years later, he stood beside
my bed as I was being wheeled to surgery to remove a breast due to cancer,
and tears filled his eyes as they did mine. That was in 1989.

He walked the floor for hours at night with a sleepless, cranky child. He
spooned cereal and baby food into little mouths, and endured spit-up and
baby poop on his clothing. He helped me take care of my mother as she was
dying of cancer.

Is this what you mean, JJ? It was difficult to get started, but look what I
accomplished! I also have a huge lump in my throat and tears in my eyes
right now. He was a fantastic husband! My sister told me he "adored" me, and
I guess that's correct for a lot of the 26 years we have been married.
Unknown
****************
The entire sum of existence is the magic of being needed by just one person.
Vi Putnam
****************
Love is seeking to act for the other person's highest good.
Jerry Cook
****************
Leo Tolstoy got married in 1862, and it was the best thing that
ever happened to him. He wrote, "Domestic happiness has swallowed me
completely." His wife had 13 children, and she helped him copy out and edit
all his manuscripts. She copied by hand the huge manuscript for War and Peace
(1868) four times. During the first years of his marriage, free love was
becoming fashionable among the Russian upper classes, and everyone started to
think of marriage as old fashioned and silly. Tolstoy was disgusted. In 1872,
he heard about a woman who had thrown herself in front of a train after the
end of an affair, and it gave him an idea for a novel about a woman whose life
is destroyed by adultery. That novel was Anna Karenina (1875). He wrote it as
a defense of marriage as the most important foundation of society. When it was
published, most critics said it was inferior to War and Peace, but it is now
considered one of the greatest novels ever written.
Garrison Keillor
****************
Gold Medal Marriages: marriages that exhibit longevity, resilience, loyalty, support,
service and durability in the face of challenges and trials.
Utah Governor's Commission on Marriage
****************
My true love hath my heart, and I have his.
Unknown
****************
Be my heart's prop.
In the waste places be a shade-giving tree.
Be good to me!
The night is long, the dawn is far away.
Be a small light, be a sudden joy,
be my daily bread.
Rachel
****************
Frank Pittman is an ardent defender of the concept of marriage. His
insights are unique and valuable. These thoughts got our attention.
"Marriage is not supposed to make you happy. It is supposed to make you
married, and once you are safely and totally married then you have a
structure of security and support from which you are free to make yourself
happy, rather than wasting your adulthood looking for a structure."
We think his comments are right on target. We've seen many people bail
out on marriage because it failed to make them happy. Pittman thinks they
have their priorities reversed. You work on building the marriage first
and happiness comes after that. It's only when we are fully committed to
one another in the marriage relationship that we can have hope of
happiness. That will take place despite obstacles that must be overcome.
Pittman believes "It must withstand change, aging, loss of youth, loss of
beauty, loss of youthful hopes, and an expectable lifetime full of
disappointment."
Norman and Ann Bales, allaboutfamilies.org
****************
One last point about how talking to your man is different from talking to your girlfriend.
By and large, a man wants the bottom line. Cut the amount of prelude by approximately
ninety percent, and you’ll get it just about right. Instead of saying, “Honey, my mom
went in and the doctor diagnosed varicose veins. She’s going to have to get them
stripped, which will make it very difficult for her to walk for a couple of weeks. As you
know, she lives all alone now, and the only person who can help her is Mrs. Jenkins,
who just visits twice a week, on Thursdays and Fridays. Mom’s going to need more
help than that.” Trust me, you’ve probably lost him by that point. Instead, try this:
“Honey, my mom is having surgery next week and needs some time to recover.
Do you mind if she stays with us for a few days?” If he wants more information,
he’ll ask for it. Keep it short.
Kevin Leman, Making Sense of the Men in Your Life
****************
Some of the most important words in marriage are "maybe you are right" and "let's try it
your way." As a good friend of mine (a bachelor until he was 38) said to me after
his first year of marriage: "I finally learned that the sun will come up tomorrow if we try it her way."
Jeff Herring
****************
Hold Me
Some close friends filed for divorce. When we explained the situation to our
boys, they were confused and declared, “We don’t understand. They were
so happy whenever we were with them.” I asked what they would
do if they were married and their wife got upset and mad and even
treated them mean. Without hesitation, my youngest, declared, “I would hold
her.” How could a four year old know the security a woman feels when a
pair of strong arms gently wrap around her!? When I am stressed or worried,
my heart immediately softens if my husband simply holds me. I asked Philip
WHY he would hold her. He explained that that’s what Dad always says in the
ceremony. Philip had witnessed several of the vow renewal services that conclude
our marriage conference weekends. As in a wedding ceremony, Sam leads
couples to repeat their vows, “To have and to hold from this day forward”.
Unlike many married couples, Philip took these vows literally.
Marriage - The Foundation newsletter www.thealexanderhouse.org/
****************
A bell is no bell 'til you ring it,
A song is no song 'til you sing it,
And love in your heart
Wasn’t put there to stay -
Love isn’t love
'Til you give it away.
Oscar Hammerstein
****************
The first year of marriage is like wet cement - the impressions made in it are
much harder to change once it has set.
Robert Wolgemuth
***************
For all the talk of love, it often seems that what Winterson is really talking about is
desire - the longing, the pursuit, the potent combination of erotic encounter and
absence, all of which she is very good at evoking. What we don't tend to get in her
novels is the messy complication of a relationship stretched and tested by daily
proximity over time - lived love.
Catherine Bush, 2004, bookreview of Lighthousekeeping
***************
One member of a couple says (as if this is an excuse for leaving), "I love
him (or her), but I am no longer in love." Love is an action word, I want
to say. When was the last time you "loved" him (or her) by your actions?
Love is not just a feeling. Love is a verb. We have control over what we
do, not what we feel. Similarly, I only have control over what I do – not
what my partner does. If I do not like what is happening or how I feel,
what can I do differently? As I behave differently, many times I get a
different response. How many times do I take for granted those thoughtful
actions or tasks a partner may complete? Do I say thank you? Do I show my
appreciation? Do I care enough about my partner to do something they like,
just as a love gift – not as a should? Do I do these things without
expecting something in return? If I expect something in return and do not
get it, I will feel resentment, which is poison in a relationship. A gift
is only a gift if it has no expectations attached.
Riette Smith
****************
Love is not breathlessness, it is not excitement, it is not promises of
eternal passion, it is not the desire to mate every second minute of the
day, it is not lying awake at night imagining that he is kissing every
cranny of your body. No, don’t blush. I am telling you some truths. That is
just being “in love,” which any fool can do. Love itself is what is left
over when being in love has burned away….Your mother and I had it, we had
roots that grew towards each other underground, and when all the pretty
blossoms had fallen from the branches, we found that we were one tree and
not two.
De Bernières, a widowed father to his daughter in the novel Corelli’s Mandolin (1994)
****************
We call upon you to let your "happily-married" light shine.
Happily marrieds are not "perfect marrieds," but they have learned some of
what it takes to create happiness in marriage. We encourage you to find ways to let
people know that you love being married! Let those who are not yet married
know that the adventure of marriage is worth the effort - that the rewards
are worth the price!
Laura Brotherson, StrengtheningMarriage.com
****************
Couples are like fingerprints. My goal in the Loveseats project photos is to
get these couples see their uniqueness.
Randy Bacon, photographer
****************
Who wouldn't want to be in a love-filled, life-long marriage?
Steve Beirne, foundationsnewsletter.com
****************
Marriage provides the solace of worked-on friendship and
the joy of being known profoundly.
Imogene Stubbs
****************
Don’t discuss sensitive subjects before dinner — eat first. My husband is
very irritable when hungry."
Renee Flager happily married for 50 yrs, New York City - Everlasting Matrimony
***************
A happy marriage is the world's best bargain.
O.A. Battista
***************
It takes many solid marriages to create a strong village and a village
to support and sustain strong marriages.
Diane Sollee, smartmarriages.com
***************
Marriage is a case of "Unite and Conquer "
Diane Sollee, smartmarriages.com
****************
Send in your quotes. The more the 'marrier'!
Diane Sollee, smartmarriages.com
****************
_________________________________________________________________________________________________________

CARTOONS and Funnies:

Married Lions (click for photo)

How Men Ruin Romance (click for photo)

****************
Toddler in pajamas standing at the door waving goodbye to his dad.
caption reads: "Bye, Daddy! Be a good boy!"
The Family Circus by Bill Keane, 10-5-01
****************
Charlie Brown kicks a football while saying, "my grampa and gramma have
been married for 50 years...." To which his playmate replies "They're lucky,
aren't they?" Charlie says, "Grampa says it isn't luck...it's skill."
Classic Peanuts - 9/26/01
****************
My wife uses fabric softener. I never knew what that stuff was for. Then
I noticed women coming up to me, sniffing, then saying under their
breath, "Married!" and walking away. Fabric Softeners are how our wives
mark their territory. We can take off the ring, but it's hard to get
that April fresh scent out of your clothes.
Andy Rooney
****************
Try praising your wife, even if it does frighten her at first.
Billy Sunday
****************
Be tolerant of the human race. Your whole family belongs to it -- and some
of your spouse's family does too.
Unknown
****************
Adam and Eve had an ideal marriage. He didn't have to hear about all the
men she could have married... and she didn't have to hear about how well his Mother cooked.
Unknown
****************
My wife says I never listen to her. At least I think that's what she said.
Unknown
****************
We always hold hands. If I let go, she shops.
Unknown
****************
Married life teaches one invaluable lesson: to think of things far
enough ahead not to say them.
Jefferson Machamer
*****************
A friend recently told us about a twenty-fifth-anniversary party where the
husband gave a toast and said, "The key to our success is very simple.
Within minutes after every fight, one of us says, 'I'm sorry, Sally'."
Cokie & Steve Roberts
****************
Although a bright and able man, my husband is almost completely helpless when
faced with even the simplest domestic chore. One day, in exasperation, I
pointed out to him that our friend, Beaa, had taught her husband, Frank, to
cook, sew and do laundry, and that if anything ever happened to Beaa, Frank
would be able to care for himself. Then I asked, "What would YOU do if
anything happened to me?" After considering that possibility for a moment,
my husband said happily, "I'd move in with Frank."
LaVonne Kincaid, Chicken Soup for the Romantic Soul, 2002
****************
If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?
Unknown
****************
Marty wakes up with a killer hangover. He forces himself to open his
eyes, and the first things he sees are a couple of aspirin and a glass of
water on the side table. He sits up and sees his clothes in front of him,
clean and pressed. He takes the aspirin and notices a note on the table:
"Honey, breakfast is on the stove. I left early to go shopping. Love you."
He goes to the kitchen and sure enough, there is a hot breakfast and the
morning newspaper. His son is also at the table, eating.

Marty asks, "Son, what happened last night?"

His son says, "Well, you came home at 3 A.M., drunk and delirious. Broke
some furniture, puked in the hallway, and gave yourself a black eye when you
stumbled into the door."

Confused, Marty asks, "So, why is everything in order and so clean, and
breakfast is on the table waiting for me?"

His son replies, "Oh that! Mom dragged you to the bedroom, and when she
tried to take your pants off, you said, "Lady, leave me alone, I'm married'!"
Unknown
****************
Cartoons:

Husband sits at his computer screen. Wife stands, holding a pistol with
both hands and aims it at him, saying, "Step away from the screen